Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Using Intention to Uncover Joy (or, How do you make these techniques work anyway?)

April 28, 2011

When I was learning to see energy and use psychic skills, I met with a group once a month for a day or a weekend. This was before there were any acupuncture schools in the United States, let alone any recognition for consciousness work. There was a surge of interest in alternative medicine, eastern religions, and spiritual topics but no structure for them and no acceptance by the culture at large. Back then, we didn’t talk in terms of laws of intention or attraction. In the group, we explored expanding our perceptual abilities, experiencing different states, transmitting them to each other, and checking veracity and accuracy.

One early exercise to learn to affect energy and reality was to create parking spaces. For the month, our homework was to open up parking spaces before we’d arrive at a destination and would need one. Mind you, we were from the greater New York City environs, where many folks don’t own cars, if only so they won’t have to find and pay for parking spaces!

I learned as much from hearing the different ways that people approached it as from the assignment itself. One friend was Sammi, a high-powered and assertive executive in international marketing who was very clear about who she was and comfortable wielding power.

Another group member was Bridget, mother of six children who had just gone through a very nasty divorce. She hated her job because it demanded that she be high-profile and persuasive. She was much more comfortable in roles in which she provided support and advice, and she made amazing things happen from the background.

Then there was me. I was in New York dancing and trying to figure out a structure for using my clairvoyant and healing gifts. I was aware of all this energy and perception that wanted to flow through my system, pressing to be used. Yet at the same time, I was struggling with old abuse issues, so I tended to be harshly self-critical.

When we come back after the month, the leader asked us to describe what we actually did to create the parking places. Sammi said that at first she was sure she could assertively open a space by putting the force of her energy into it, carving out space for her car with her will. It didn’t work. When she asked, ‘If it is in my best interest and in the best interest of world around me, could I please have a parking place?’ – then she’d find one.

I looked at her in amusement and said, “That’s so funny, because I thought I should do the polite thing – ask carefully, be respectful, but it never worked. I drove around for hours and never found one. It wasn’t until I went into my center and toughened up and fiercely demanded it, saying, “I want it, I deserve it, and so show up NOW!” – that I’d find a space. I could even swear. All that mattered was that I be forceful and bingo, there it was. I was so confused by that, because I thought it wasn’t spiritual enough, not the way one should interact with “higher powers.”

Sammi was so assertive that her energy was limited in the ways it could interact, due to the force with which she was planted in herself. She could not take the energy of situations or other people into account until she softened and stepped back. Creating the parking space pushed her to be more aware of her relation to others.

At that time, I, on the other hand, walked through life not taking up enough room. So I had to move into the experience of deserving a parking place in order to open one for myself, rather than unconsciously emitting the intention that there was no room for me.

Bridget’s method still makes me chuckle because it was such an illustration of the nature of her gifts and energy. She psychically sent out a note to whoever was near where she wanted to park. “I’d call to all those people who were hemming and hawing, standing on one foot and then the other, not able to say good-bye, and I’d help them make the decision to leave. I just reassured them that it was okay to go now, told them to get in their cars and stop messing about. Then I could have their parking place.”

This story is a good illustration because intention – clarifying a goal, your desire to achieve it, and marshalling your energy to go for it – is a function that requires that you align yourself, be willing to be precise about what you want, to ask for it clearly, and to open space for the thing to appear. You can learn a lot about yourself by working on your technique. There is a specific area to identify in your body in which your intention consolidates. To become adept at using it successfully, it is helpful to know the energetic steps needed to create through intention.

The reason why I am including a chapter on intention is that, in the skills you will learn other chapters in the book, it will be necessary to focus yourself with intention in order to create a certain energy, or to become aware of some aspect of the skill, or to move into a new area. Intention is not just about creating Maseratis. It is also used in Energy Work to move your awareness to new levels of complexity, to increase your perception, to develop new internal abilities and states. Energy practitioners and intuitives use their intention all the time to ask for information and see the ‘unseeable.’

How do you use intention in your life? What tips would you offer others?

Not reaching your goal? It may be an extinction burst.

February 14, 2011

Have you ever been working on something – losing weight, being more patient with coworkers, exercising regularly, developing a more positive outlook – and there you are, making steady progress, working the system, and suddenly, BAM! Something happens that seems to annihilate all you efforts: you go on a binge – for a week. You lose it with a report at work. You break your leg.  Some thug steals your wallet. It looks as if the Universe is telling you that you will not be successful , so you might as well give up on that goal.

Well, a researcher in operant conditioning named Karen Pryor studied a concept called extinction bursts which can give us encouragement to carry on. She found that it’s a trait of human nature to have these kinds of roadblocks, especially as we’re actually making headway. It’s the last hurrah of your old way of doing things, either to make the obstruction or to interpret wayward events as meant to defeat us.

If we know that people are designed to have that eleventh-hour setback, we can take a deep breath, extend our notion of success out a bit, and keep going however we can. We can even give ourselves a high-five, because it happens when we’ve been on a roll.

I’ve had this happen and took it to mean I’d failed at my progress.When has this happened to you? What happened and what did you think it meant? It’d be great to see how universal this experience is.

Even Judy Dench doubts herself

February 2, 2011

From Chapter 16: Value Yourself Highly:

Dame Judy Dench, arguably one of the best actors in the world, has primarily played sure-footed women. She was being interviewed on National Public Radio to introduce her latest series, “Cranford,” as I wrote the first draft of this chapter. One of the things she said of her acting career was, “Those characters are not who I am. Everything I have done has brought up such anxiety, so much anxiety.”

Dame Judy was anxious because she had to wrestle with her doubt that she’d do a good job. It seems that no one is free of doubts and critical inner voices. Self-doubt seems to be part of the human condition (except in psychopaths and people who blame others for everything), and it is impossible to eradicate completely. As a great actor, Dame Judy is an example of someone who clearly knows how to deal with her anxiety and move forward.

Even when we have done the work of facing painful feelings and restructuring self-defeating beliefs, many of us continue the habit of questioning ourselves unnecessarily or turning against ourselves when something goes wrong. Self-doubt is a habit that no longer serves a protective purpose. It only undermines our efforts to build self- assurance and a new outlook by uncentering us and thus disorganizing our sense of ourselves. We must see that self-criticism and shame are not based on the reality of who we are but rather are attempts to control our pain without dealing with it directly.

If our old sense of self is based on self-criticism and self-hatred, we must be emphatic in treating ourselves positively in order to build a stance based on self-love and a realistic appreciation of our worth. It isn’t overcompensation. It simply feels that way if we’ve had a taboo against being on our own side.

Valuing ourselves is not just a nice idea. It is crucial in order to turn away from those deeply grooved pathways of self-doubt, second-guessing, anticipating disaster, and despair. We cannot wait for circumstances to pop self-confidence over our heads like a new sweater. We must train minds to see ourselves as valuable and precious. Joy is not an externally induced event, which actually is a great relief.  Our joy is not dependent on events or other people. Even if it feels as though we’re breaking taboos, and the wrath of all the gods will pour down on our heads for doing so, we can choose to invest in a true, positive sense of ourselves.

The Perils of Publishing

February 1, 2011

2010 was an interesting year. I had dedicated it to getting Uncover Joy published. I do have a wonderful small publisher – Distinction Press here in VT. Excellent layout and beautiful design by Kitty Werner.

As this is my first book, and I really want it to have a wide reception, so I’ve kept looking for major agents and publishers. I just finished putting out what may be the last one. Will see what happens, although I do sense that all the powers-that-be (my Guides) that have been involved with getting the book out are on the side of this one.

The question about self-publishing, going with a small house or trying for a big one has changed so much as computers have made it easier to publish, and the economy has forced big publishers to offer fewer services.

It used to be said that self-publishing enabled you to get your book out quickly, but then you had to do all the editing and marketing yourself. Now, major houses offer much less editing and want to know what your marketing plan is. What you do get is the recognition that you’ve beat out the competition. Having a major publisher still gives you lots of street cred.

The good news is, I’m committed to having the book for sale in 2011, possibly by summer. I’ll keep you posted!

What are your experiences with getting large, complex book published? What worked? What didn’t? Who did you end up with?

Summer! Time to relax, not control

July 15, 2010

Finally! Those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are here! (for those of us in the northern hemisphere – sorry about the rest of you!) They bring their siren song to relax, let go of responsibilities, and have some fun – dig in the garden, ride hoses through the surf, swim in lakes, watch a ball game, anything goes.

I’m not suggesting binging on Jello shots or hitchhiking to Montana. Just expansive relaxation, reveling in what makes us happy and enjoying what we have, as well as adding a bit of adventure.

But what happens if we have a tendency to hold on too tightly, to need to be in control? What if we rob ourselves of the joy of life? Lots of people try to feel safe and on top of things by controlling themselves or situations too tightly.

There are some major problems with being a control freak:

  • We think we’re being organized, but more and more, our attention is on the world around us, rather than settled in our own sphere.
  • We avoid some pain or issue that needs our attention by controlling something else.
  • We tend to reach into territory that’s not our purview – spouses, kids, neighbors, coworkers – and damage our relationships.
  • We cut off our sense of our own bodies and energy, constricting our internal resources and our ability to relax and have fun.

To take advantage of these summer days, it helps to recognize that you may be investing too much energy in being in control, and then pry your fingers loose. Then, breathe, ground your energy in your body, center yourself, and be willing to be in the present moment, whether it involves a painful memory surging up or acknowledging that kids can be influenced, not molded, and trust that they’ll land on their feet.

The discomfort of what you’ve been avoiding will ebb as you be with it, rather than fighting it. Then, you’ll be free to enjoy the sun and soak up this precious time. Happy Summer!

Centered, For Real

July 1, 2010

Lots of people talk about being centered now (they certainly didn’t when I started working on this material in the 1970′s!) But what is it really? And how do we do it? Are we just supposed to hope that if we settle down, or think about it, we’re centered? Is it the same as being aware of ourselves rather than a bit flipped out? Is it the same as being grounded?

Our center is the place in which we are aware of our being – our sense of our true self that is deeper and more permanent than our self-concept, thoughts or even emotions. It is where we contact our essence. Our center has a location in our body, in our energy field, and in our nervous system. With practice it can be developed, as more neural synapses are trained to respond to our attention. When we are centered, that sense of being is completely satisfying. It becomes the axis around which is organized all the rest of our multi-faceted self. In fact, the more we practice, the more organized – re-aligned and settled – the rest of our experience and awareness can become.

What frees us from pain and uncovers joy is a paradox. The pit looks unfathomable and intolerable when we are outside our center. People fight to stay away from their core, fearing that, if they go in there, they’ll drown in their worst nightmares. Yet it is fighting the pain that disconnects us from our own core self as well as from the tools that release the pain. It is only by risking moving into our center that we find out that it is actually the place in which stillness, love, joy, and connection with all-that-is resides within us. It is only then that we can see that there is joy under all our pain.When we learn to perceive the real nature of our true selves, and settle into our center, the view changes completely. (From Uncover Joy, Chapter 6, Centering)

Only in the reality of the present can we love, can we awaken, can we find peace and understanding and connection with ourselves and the world. Jack Kornfield

Find out how Energy Dynamics can help you! Contact me at (802) 229-4815, or Sarah@sarahgillen.com

What does Grounding have to do with Joy?

June 17, 2010

The secret about joy is that it is only by being in the present, deeply connected and awake within ourselves, that it is possible to tap into the bliss lurking beneath the crud. Grounding enables us to be in the present. Our efforts to stay away from our old baggage actually keeps us stuck and disconnected from ourselves and traps us in pain. Grounding awakens us to our internal world, so we come face-to-face with feelings we may have been avoiding, but it also increases intuition, healing, safety, and calm.

The question is, how do we release the pain and return to ourselves? Grounding and centering are two vital steps in the answer. Used together, we can increase our body’s ability to heal, our energy to work out kinks and realign. In the process, we can resolve and release old trauma, lay to rest old losses, and change self-defeating patterns.

When, rather than being scattered, too focused on others, or self-critical, we ground ourselves, we settle into relationship with ourselves. We turn on the lights and move into our own body more completely. Rather than zoning out, or trying to get away, or tightening up to only a tiny part of ourselves (say, our minds, maybe?) we inhabit all of ourselves. We settle into what is real now, connecting inward, in order to connect outward safely and accurately. Grounding enables us to see what is around us and our place in it, and to move thru life assuredly, or at least without losing ourselves.

Smile, breathe and go slowly.  ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground. ~Theodore Roosevelt

Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom Updated!

June 5, 2010

The newest version of the groundbreaking classic Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Christiane Northrup, M.D., is now available (for preorder before May 25) in bookstores across the United States. I share in Dr. Northrup’s joy and excitement when I tell you that Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom is now an essential guide for how to truly flourish in a female body, not merely avoid disease. In fact, the new Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom is an owner’s manual designed to teach you everything that can go right with your body.

The first edition of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom was published in 1994 and was based on Dr. Northrup’s many years as an OB/GYN physician. Her medical training was based on the concept that the female body is a minefield and everyday occurrences, like the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, and menopause, can only be spoken of in the language of pathology and discomfort.

For 16 years, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom has remained the veritable bible of women’s health and an international bestseller. Now, it has been completely rewritten! World-renowned and much-beloved women’s health expert Dr. Christiane Northrup shares the latest developments and advances that will maximize your potential for living well in your bodies today.

Inside you will discover:

  • New material on sexuality—and how to have a more fulfilling sex life.
  • The spiritual and scientific principles behind healing from terminal illnesses, and how you can utilize these principles for your own health and the health of others.
  • Vital information about how to truly dissolve PMS and ease menstrual cramps.
  • Extraordinary facts on Vitamin D—and why it is crucial for breast, cardiovascular, and immune system health.
  • The importance of the preconception diet and how to greatly decrease your risk of birth defects.
  • How to birth naturally, despite the current induction and C-section epidemic.
  • All you need to know about thyroid function, including proper blood tests.
  • Life-saving facts about cellular inflammation—the root cause of all chronic degenerative diseases—and how to prevent this condition.
  • The essentials on the “fountain of youth molecule”—and how to enhance your levels of it for vibrant health.

You can purchase Dr. Northrup’s beloved classic everywhere books are sold. Purchase at your favorite local bookseller or online in paperback from Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Borders and in hardcover from Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Borders. To read an excerpt, go to www.drnorthrup.com.



Gardening and Roots

June 1, 2010

Now that the weather is (hopefully!) staying warm, planting season is here in earnest. Everyone in this rural area spends Memorial Day weekend farming like mad, no matter the size of their land. As the tomatoes, lettuce and delicata squash settle into the earth and send down roots to grow strong, we have a chance to do the same for ourselves. We can move into summer paying attention to grounding ourselves.

One of the major benefits of being grounded is that we are able to stay firmly in our own place rather than being blown around by other people or events. The perfect example is the martial arts master. Often in movies he is depicted as a small, wizened, old man who works, say, in a Chinese restaurant as a dishwasher. Unbeknownst to the owner and others who, from the audience’s viewpoint, ought to know better, the gentle man is a top-notch practitioner. One evening, bent on vendetta against the restaurateur, large thugs crashes into the restaurant through the kitchen. The old man is in their way. They try to shove him aside. They cannot. They get madder and shove harder. They cannot budge the old man, who is still looking like a feeble dishwasher. They try to pick him up. They yank his arm. They cannot get past him. First they look perplexed, and then they get scared.

Even without vanquishing bad guys, grounding keeps you solidly placed, so that you don’t feel buffeted or thrown off. This is a boon when giving speeches, when making dinner for a passle of tired children, when your boss wants fourteen things at once, or when the news makes the world sound like a scary place. It involves connecting with yourself, your energy, and also contacting the earth beneath your feet. It is an interchange of energy that provides strong benefits and results.

Connecting with the earth allows you to regain regain perspective. If an emotion has ballooned out of all proportion, the feeling settles down to its real size when you gain perspective by feeling your body in contact with the earth. Grounding helps you process painful feelings by helping you see that they are not as all-consuming as you feared, and by keeping you connected with reality in the present.

Gardeners know how grounding it is to plant and tend the earth. We can teach ourselves to ground wherever we are and reap the benefits of being calmer and more settled. Breathe!

(from Uncover Joy, chapter 5, Grounding)

Gardening gives one back a sense of proportion about everything – except itself.  ~May Sarton, Plant Dreaming Deep, 1968
Gardening is about enjoying the smell of things growing in the soil, getting dirty without feeling guilty, and generally taking the time to soak up a little peace and serenity.  ~Lindley Karstens, noproblemgarden.com

Be Your Own Good Parent

May 15, 2010

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day give us a chance to thank parents who cared for us, offered helpful advice, kept us safe, and guided us to be the best we can be.

For some people, however, these holidays are painful.  Yes, everyone has things to work out with their parents, otherwise what impetus would we have to grow and evolve as adults? But for lots of folks, all the ads for flowers and restaurants remind them that their childhoods were not supportive or safe. They have had to spend years recovering from abuse and trying to build strong and positive senses of themselves.

Whether you were blessed with wonderful parents, the regular human kind, or had to struggle with serious problems in your family, here’s a suggestion to help you feel the blessings of Spring.

For the lucky ones, what characteristics do you most value in your parents?

And for the challenged ones, what did you most want from your parents that you did not receive?

List those traits that you think personify wonderful parenting.

Now, for the next two weeks, choose one of those traits and give it to yourself. It works best if you clarify what you will focus on, rather than generalizing and then falling short because you expect too much of yourself or did not have a model for good parenting.

Be your own best parent. Treat yourself kindly. Hold your hand (metaphorically speaking – might be hard to do for real if you’re lugging a briefcase and two bags of groceries) when you cross the street. Have empathy for your reactions. Guide yourself gently through troubles. Give yourself milk and cookies. Put your arm around yourself for no reason at all.

Before you go to bed each night, write a love note to yourself. Tell yourself what you’re proud of yourself for doing during the day. Remind yourself of your good qualities. Comfort yourself for difficulties. Give yourself the kind of before-sleep benediction that a kind, loving parent would.

Go to sleep with those messages in your mind.

As you integrate the first attribute, you may want to focus on another one.

Then see what blossoms in you as Spring progresses. Notice if your own feelings of lovingkindness grow, if you feel more sunny, more relaxed, more supported. And make each holiday an acknowledgement of your wonderful Self-Parenting. Happy Spring!

Worry: a misuse fo your imagination. Anonymous


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