Posts Tagged ‘finishing projects’

Using Intention to Uncover Joy (or, How do you make these techniques work anyway?)

April 28, 2011

When I was learning to see energy and use psychic skills, I met with a group once a month for a day or a weekend. This was before there were any acupuncture schools in the United States, let alone any recognition for consciousness work. There was a surge of interest in alternative medicine, eastern religions, and spiritual topics but no structure for them and no acceptance by the culture at large. Back then, we didn’t talk in terms of laws of intention or attraction. In the group, we explored expanding our perceptual abilities, experiencing different states, transmitting them to each other, and checking veracity and accuracy.

One early exercise to learn to affect energy and reality was to create parking spaces. For the month, our homework was to open up parking spaces before we’d arrive at a destination and would need one. Mind you, we were from the greater New York City environs, where many folks don’t own cars, if only so they won’t have to find and pay for parking spaces!

I learned as much from hearing the different ways that people approached it as from the assignment itself. One friend was Sammi, a high-powered and assertive executive in international marketing who was very clear about who she was and comfortable wielding power.

Another group member was Bridget, mother of six children who had just gone through a very nasty divorce. She hated her job because it demanded that she be high-profile and persuasive. She was much more comfortable in roles in which she provided support and advice, and she made amazing things happen from the background.

Then there was me. I was in New York dancing and trying to figure out a structure for using my clairvoyant and healing gifts. I was aware of all this energy and perception that wanted to flow through my system, pressing to be used. Yet at the same time, I was struggling with old abuse issues, so I tended to be harshly self-critical.

When we come back after the month, the leader asked us to describe what we actually did to create the parking places. Sammi said that at first she was sure she could assertively open a space by putting the force of her energy into it, carving out space for her car with her will. It didn’t work. When she asked, ‘If it is in my best interest and in the best interest of world around me, could I please have a parking place?’ – then she’d find one.

I looked at her in amusement and said, “That’s so funny, because I thought I should do the polite thing – ask carefully, be respectful, but it never worked. I drove around for hours and never found one. It wasn’t until I went into my center and toughened up and fiercely demanded it, saying, “I want it, I deserve it, and so show up NOW!” – that I’d find a space. I could even swear. All that mattered was that I be forceful and bingo, there it was. I was so confused by that, because I thought it wasn’t spiritual enough, not the way one should interact with “higher powers.”

Sammi was so assertive that her energy was limited in the ways it could interact, due to the force with which she was planted in herself. She could not take the energy of situations or other people into account until she softened and stepped back. Creating the parking space pushed her to be more aware of her relation to others.

At that time, I, on the other hand, walked through life not taking up enough room. So I had to move into the experience of deserving a parking place in order to open one for myself, rather than unconsciously emitting the intention that there was no room for me.

Bridget’s method still makes me chuckle because it was such an illustration of the nature of her gifts and energy. She psychically sent out a note to whoever was near where she wanted to park. “I’d call to all those people who were hemming and hawing, standing on one foot and then the other, not able to say good-bye, and I’d help them make the decision to leave. I just reassured them that it was okay to go now, told them to get in their cars and stop messing about. Then I could have their parking place.”

This story is a good illustration because intention – clarifying a goal, your desire to achieve it, and marshalling your energy to go for it – is a function that requires that you align yourself, be willing to be precise about what you want, to ask for it clearly, and to open space for the thing to appear. You can learn a lot about yourself by working on your technique. There is a specific area to identify in your body in which your intention consolidates. To become adept at using it successfully, it is helpful to know the energetic steps needed to create through intention.

The reason why I am including a chapter on intention is that, in the skills you will learn other chapters in the book, it will be necessary to focus yourself with intention in order to create a certain energy, or to become aware of some aspect of the skill, or to move into a new area. Intention is not just about creating Maseratis. It is also used in Energy Work to move your awareness to new levels of complexity, to increase your perception, to develop new internal abilities and states. Energy practitioners and intuitives use their intention all the time to ask for information and see the ‘unseeable.’

How do you use intention in your life? What tips would you offer others?

Crisis have you tense? Learn to surf!

May 11, 2010

Jack’s boss criticized him in front of his entire team. By the time he got home, he was not only fuming, he was tight and agitated, planning how he’d show her that he was on top of his game, and on top of the project. The problem was, for the next week, he tried so hard that his tension undermined his performance.

Many of us have spent too much of our lives feeling threatened, so we unknowingly take criticisms, or difficult interactions as more danger than they may actually be. It’s human nature to clench and scrabble, trying to find some hold on events. It can be as if we are trying to hold onto our sense of our lives, and of ourselves as stable. But the clenching takes our attention away from dealing with the situation, so we are less effective. While it is an automatic reaction, it doesn’t help our cause.

What needs to come in, at those moments when our fretting is keeping us up at night, is trust in our experience and our practice of new ways of being. Paradoxically, what keeps us safe and makes us effective is to let go, to allow our survival to be a matter of faith, something that we take for granted (not easy to do for those with trauma in their background), to float on the surge and swell of the event, rather than trying to make the water be still, or to grab onto something for dear life. All that gets us is a fight with the water and more tendency to sink.

Here is where the value of learning to ground and center comes in. When you can identify that reaction of trying to get a grip, developing an internal, kinesthetic sense of your self and your energy body allows you to let go and trust that you will continue to exist. Then you can focus on seeing the event clearly, assessing best action, and doing it. You have more time to notice that it is not life-threatening, that it may be obnoxious or inconvenient, but you can feel good about being able to swim through it.

When Jack became aware of his trying to feel in control again by clenching, he realized that his boss’s criticism had triggered memories of feeling humiliated by his father, who had laughed at him in front of his drinking buddies. Reminding himself that his boss was not his father, Jack was able to turn his efforts to breathing, reconnecting with his felt sense of his body, and be aware of his feet contacting the earth, even in meetings. Rather than resent his boss, he tried assuming that his job was safe. As he felt lighter, he suddenly saw his project from a new angle and got an idea that improved it and open up new options.

If the situation really is threatening, you will have more chance to survive if you can see best options by letting go of the grip that constricts your energy. No matter what, if you ride the wave, you still have your self, and a firmer sense of your being, as you move through the crisis and come out the other side. And it won’t turn into one of those events that adds to old trauma or old beliefs that you can’t survive. Rather it will build on the truth that you are good at body-surfing.

Savoring

March 15, 2010

Many of us react to successes and pleasures by worrying. “Pride goeth before the fall!” we’ll mutter. Or we’ll look for the other shoe to drop, or worry that others will resent our good fortune.  We may decide that we don’t really deserve the good that came our way.

Not everyone reacts this way. Some folks savor their experiences, sinking into the good feelings, exploring and relishing them. Positive psychology researchers have found that those who “derive pleasure through such strategies as anticipating positive events in the future, relishing them in the moment, and reminiscing about those in the past…Those who habitually savor are indeed happier and more satisfied in general with life…more optimistic…and less depressed…than those who do not savor. (Chris Peterson, A Primer of Positive Psychology)

If you tend more toward the worrying type, the good news is that you can increase your happiness by practicing savoring. The next time receive a gift or compliment, win an award or long-sought accomplishment, or you simply notice that it’s a beautiful day, instead of hurrying on by it, enhance your experience by trying these strategies:

  • Sharing with others: You can seek out others to share the experience. If that is not possible, tell others how much you valued the moment.
  • Memory Building: Take mental photographs or even a physical souvenir…and reminisce about it later with others.
  • Self-Congratulation: Do not be afraid of pride. Tell yourself how impressed others are and remember how long you have waited for this to happen.
  • Sharpening Perceptions: focus on certain elements…and block out others.
  • Absorptions: Let yourself get totally immersed in the pleasure and try not to think about other matters.  (Peterson, ibid)

I’d also suggest that savoring requires that us slow down when something brings you joy. We’ll find that we feel fuller and more nourished by life if we spend more time and attention appreciating one thing at a time than if we go for all the goodies that we can pack into an event. Kids at winter solstice holidays are a perfect example. When they receive so much, they often end up unhappy and frantic at the overload.

So, try not distracting yourself from the joy in your accomplishments and in each moment. As Dr. Peterson says, “Don’t be a kill-joy, because it would be (your) own joy that (you are) killing.”

Before Resolutions – Give yourself credit for 2009

December 29, 2009

Thanks to my lovely yoga teacher, I came up with a great idea this morning. I tried it with my family, and it worked. Rather than flying straight to a new to-do list for the new year, we wrote a list of all the things with which we’d succeeded in ’09. This includes accomplishments and also internal successes, growth, difficulties successfully navigated, hard times well lived through, things we’re proud of that others wouldn’t understand.  My list includes finishing the final draft of Uncover Joy, becoming a better mother by working through a type of situation that always got my goat, confronting a fear by taking riding lessons, continuing to ride so that I’m out of the ‘baby’ category, and internal wins such as being at peace with a troublesome relationship, and also finally working through a type of situation that always led to my feeling terrible, so that I finally feel that I belong in the world and that I can move freely through it. This one led to my favorite, truly feeling joyful so much of the time.

At our house, we’re having so much fun with it that we’re going to keep adding to our lists as we think of more things to feel good about.

Try it. Does it lead to your feeling more complete and satisfied with 2009? What does giving yourself credit do for you? Do you relish the feeling of accomplishment? Do you feel satisfied and at peace?

And what are your end of year/project rituals? I’d love to know.


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